I signed up for my first marathon, and honestly, I’m excited and incredibly nervous.
On January 31, I’ll be running the Miami Marathon with Team Ulman. Twenty-six point two miles. Even saying that out loud feels like a lot right now.
I love training. I love having something to work toward. But this is new territory for me, and being a trainer doesn’t mean I feel completely confident about everything I sign up to do. I have questions. I have nerves. I’m thinking about the distance, the training, and how I’m going to make room for all of it in a life that already feels pretty full.
I also keep thinking about why I said yes.
I’m running for charity, and that has given this goal a meaning I didn’t fully expect. I feel like I’m doing this for so many other people, too. There’s a purpose behind getting out the door that reaches beyond my own training, and it’s already helped me want to start moving again.
That means a lot to me, especially right now.
The last little stretch has been stressful. Biggie’s surgery and recovery have taken a lot of my attention, and there have been days when taking care of him and getting through what needed to happen were enough. My own routine hasn’t looked the way I wanted it to.
I know what it feels like to want to get back into something and still have a hard time starting. You think about how much you have to do, how far away you feel from where you want to be, and suddenly even the beginning feels overwhelming.
Having this race, and having a reason that matters to me, has helped me look forward again.
I don’t know exactly what this training is going to feel like yet. I haven’t done it before. There will be distances I’ve never covered and things I’ll have to learn by doing. I’m going to have to figure out my schedule, take recovery seriously, and give eating and sleeping the same attention I’m trying to give running.
I’m also going to have to let myself be a beginner at this.
That can be uncomfortable. It’s easier to feel confident when you already know what you’re doing. But I talk to my clients about trying things that challenge them, and I want to be willing to do that myself. I can be nervous about something and still care enough to try.
What feels different about this goal is how much I want to follow through for the people connected to it. When I think about the fundraising and everyone who chooses to support this, it makes the training feel connected to something I want to be part of.
I want to hold on to that feeling through the ordinary parts, too. Getting ready for a run. Making time in my week. Learning what works. Coming back after a day that doesn’t go as planned.
There’s a lot between here and January 31, and I don’t want to rush past it just to imagine the finish line. I want to share what this first experience actually looks like: the excitement, the nerves, the things I’m figuring out, and the reasons I keep going.
So this is day one of sharing that journey. I’m nervous. I’m excited. And I feel really grateful to have a reason to start that means this much to me.
If you follow along, share the fundraiser, or choose to donate, thank you. I’m thinking about that support as I begin.
